It's definitely just me. You're going to feel a little bumbly and awkward at first, and it's going to take some time for you to get the hang of it. More than anything, remember to enjoy the process! On average, women take about 20 minutes to orgasm. It sounds like you're not opposed to masturbating, but that you may still have some conflicting feelings about it.
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I've tried masturbating before, but I just can't figure out how to do it without a vibrator. Think of what you're doing as trying to learn what kind of stimulation feels good for you, rather than trying to learn the quickest possible route to orgasm. Women usually need a fair amount of time to warm up, and require repetitive, consistent stimulation to climax.